My biological dad became a raging alcoholic when I was just a teeny one growing up. I've had a few step fathers, but I had one man in my life to raise me pretty much by himself since I was just a little child in this new world that is America and now my home. He is absolutely wonderful, and I call him my daddy because he's been so good to me and pretty much taught me everything I know to be a good person. He has shown me so much grace and mercy while I've been giving him hell. I think most teenagers realize this sometime in their life. But anyways, I can't tell him EVERYTHING about me as much as I would want to, but the honest truth is that he wouldn't be able to handle it.
My Dad in heaven is a whole different story. While it's the same idea of continuous grace and forgiveness after coming home late, lying about whatever I'm trying to hide, or not making my bed in the morning, that grace is magnified to infinity. Yeah infinity is hard to grasp, but my Dad IS infinite and my earthly dad so small and finite. The Lord knows EVERYTHING about me and He CAN handle it. Let's face it, He is the ONLY Being that can. It's comforting, but at the same time it's scary.
It's comforting to me in a sense that He knows what will happen to me, and in the end it'll be alright because I'll be with Him. What's scary is that He knows my every flaw and fault. He knows what I hide from everyone. I can't keep anything from Him.
While I'm on this earth, life is gonna be rough and tough. This is my life marathon run towards God. I get so tired and exhausted though from all the distractions around me. Everytime I start to slow down to walk or take a break, I catch myself in sin. I know God is cheering me on but so is the world to tell me to stop and take a break. It's so so appealing. And after I overcome one sin, I pick up my speed again until I stumble to the next sin. And it sure doesn't take long to get from one to the next.
I learned a lesson. I thought my life was getting pretty good, I have some amazing friends, best grades I've ever had in my entire life, and my boyfriend treats me like a princess. But while I'm thinking that its good, I'm slowing down on my run to take a quick break because I thought I was ahead. Little did I realize that I'll never be able to say I'm ahead. But as soon as I stop, I made some huge huge mistakes. I can't take it back, and I make mistakes everyday. But this one really worried me, and I didn't know what to do about it, except be scared.
Why was I scared though? My Dad is right with me to pick me up and get going again. He doesn't neccessarily have a smile on His face, but he is NOT going to let me give up. God is truly taking care of me more than I will ever be able to imagine.
"He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:29-31
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