...because you win anyways in the end, there's no need.
I was so angry today. I am loving all this snow, but I am hating it. The idea of getting snow, snowball fights, and snowmen are sooooo cool! Heck ya I wanna get out of school for it!! Especially when Alabama only gets snow about once a year or less. I love getting out of school, but of course, school is out because roads are closed. Roads closed = stuck at home. My parents wont let me go see Kelsey and Courtney, and I feel trapped, lonely, and bored. Okay, it's really not THAT bad.
That's how sin works for me. Probably for everyone. We all want something that we don't have right? Well, most things I want in this life, aren't lined up with Christ. I want new clothes, phones, and cars. I think about clothes, OFTEN. I think my parents hate me because they won't buy me new clothes, but it's for my own good. I keep filling my carts up with new dresses at lulus.com and modcloth.com, but I look at all the beautiful textiles and get out. Yeah I don't have as much nice clothes as so-and-so and so-and-so's parent's got them a $100 gift card to wherever, but that's justifying.
What have I learned about justifying? CAN'T DO IT. It's wrong in any shape of form. Yeah, it seems silly, but everyone does it unconciously. We just don't want to feel guilty for anything. Justifying anything is a lie from satan, and I feed into it...almost daily.
Anyways, I'm really upset that I can't see my best friends because I can't drive and my parents wont drive me. I'm upset that my parents didn't get me anything for Christmas, and I'm upset that my parents probably wont get me anything for my birthday. I mean everyone else gets presents for these two events, why can't I? Okay, there goes me justifying again. But I'm wrong, there are more than 4 billion people in the world that don't get gifts for these two events. What makes me so special and elite to the rest? Nothing. That's just another lie that I've been takin in from that silly satan, telling me to be mad at my parents over something, well, silly.
How do I get rid of it though? I feel like I'm surrounded by, "don't do this, don't do that" EVERYWHEREEE. I know the Bible isn't a book of do's and don'ts, but in real everyday life, that's what I feel like my choices and decisions come down to.
Every day, every moment, I want to let God in. I want Him to transform me and ultimately change the way I think.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2
However, I feel like the more I let Him have a piece of me, the more I have to give up. But, is it really giving anything up? No. Not really at all. It's like giving away my only oreo cookie in my lunch bag at lunch. It's so tasty and delicious, but I only have one. But, at the same time, I have an entire box at home. I'm not losing anything. I've lost some friends, and it sucks. They won't call me to hang out anymore, they say bad things about me, and just to have people out of your life isn't the most fun thing. But I SHOULD REJOICE because I have so many other Godly friends now, and it seems like as I lose another friend to the world, God puts another beautiful Christian sister into my path.
With God, it's a WIN-WIN situation. ALWAYS. Nothing that happens on this earth will be bad, because I'm guaranteed ETERNAL life. Beat that silly satan. You can't!
Yeah, I wont see Courtney or Kelsey tonight. But it's like that cookie. I'll see them everyday for eternity in heaven later on.
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