Always MORE

I've been really inconsistent with everything lately. Doing homework, hanging out with friends, and the time I go to sleep and the time I wake up. The only thing I have been consistent with are my meals, the necessity to SURVIVE. Worst of all, I've been inconsistent with my relationship with my Father. Why have I put MY needs before glorifying HIM?! Why haven't I been thinking about him that it is he that is keeping me alive? It's absolutely repulsive for me to think about, but I'm so glad that I've realized this.

Another HUGE misunderstanding that I've come to reality is the whole about "good works." Filling out college applications, I regret that I haven't volunteered more or been involved with my community more. Today it hit me that that perspective is so WRONG! Any nonbeliever can do good works and help out in the community. But the God I serve wants me to do it for him and to be humble. I was taking this piece of scripture in a negative light,

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." - 1 Timothy 2:9-10

I love flaunting a new outfit I got or run around town in some new shoes, but that's not what it's about! I shouldn't flaunt that I helped out so and so or that I clothed some homeless kids. It's ugly to wear my good deeds. Also, good deeds isn't the big picture of this verse anyways. I want people to see my good deeds and think, "Wow that is God," I don't want any part of it. But first, I have to start doing more for my community and the people in need everywhere around me. Not to check off a checklist or to expand my resume, but to do it in joy and love as God has called me to do!

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:16

I just have too many excuses and too much on my own agenda right now, and that is a PROBLEM. And I SHOULD be worried about it. What I do for God right now, is what I share with him in heaven, and I just want to be eager and tell him all the great things he's led me to experience and shared with the world.