6 weeks later..

I promised myself and more importantly to God that I would change my life around after Summit '10. How has it worked out?? My first blog describes a few of my struggles. I've overcome a lot, but I have to keep pushing myself and keep pursuing Christ. Every little step counts. My small group and youth group has helped me in such amazing ways. They love me, but they also keep me accountable. Being kept accountable is much harder than keeping someone else accountable.

This summer I've been convicted the most about the sin of partying, getting drunk, and disobeying authority by partying. If Jesus were to come back when I was at a party laughing, making jokes, and playing drinking games, what am I suppose to say? Why am I exposing MY Holy Spirit to sin? Who am I to ruin the GIFT and the HOLY temple that the ETERNAL KING has given me? I've never recieved a gift from my grandparents and threw it away infront of them, I write thank you notes to them. I need to be writing my lifelong thank you note to my Father, starting NOW. I've been given this awesome life with great blessings, and what am I doing with it?

I'm no longer in guilt with my sin because God doesn't make us feel guilty or dwell. He convicted me, and I'm forgiven. Why would He?! He's been doing all these great things for me, and all I've done is been selfish. Because He LOVES me. More than anything that anybody on this earth can comprehend. Because of this amazing undescribable love, He gave humans the GIFT of free will so that we would grow to FALL in love with Him. He's been letting me make my mistakes for a reason. The hardest part, is to grasp the idea that I need to CHANGE. Even harder is to actually follow through with the change. BUT, if we keep LIVING in our sin, we have nothing to look forward to, except for death.

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. - James 1:13-15

During the 6 weeks, I've partied some, but a WHOLE lot less than before. It's a different life, that's for sure. Yeah, I'm excited about it, but my relationships in Christ tell me that I have to get to my next step which is to stop all together. Finally, the idea is for me to be repulsed by the things I used to do and not want to be around it at all. It's extremely hard for me to hear the things that my leaders and peers tell me, but I NEED to hear it and it is a GOD thing. My small group leader told me last week these verses:

"My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins." - James 5:19-20

My brothers and sisters in Christ are OBLIGATED to tell me that what I'm doing wrong is WRONG! They are encouraged by the gospel to change me because it saves their LIVES and covers more than just my sin that I would commit. The beginning of the chapter describes how we have to be ready when the Lord comes back and that we are supposed to confess each other our sins, pray for each other, and be strong together. I have been very wrong to stiff arm some of my small group members regardless of what I think of them.

In conclusion, I am BLESSED to have this temptation. It is bringing me closer to Christ and others that love me. We have to consider it pure JOY when we have trials (James 1:2-3). I'm going to come out of this beautifully.